google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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