i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I've blown a few things in my day
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
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Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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