is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
