but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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