He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize