normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my shit smells like andre
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
