Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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