I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
