I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
