The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
