You're so nebulous sometimes
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
