do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize