I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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