I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
