Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
