Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
