Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
