Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Found the puke drawer
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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