Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
