Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
