Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
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I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least