I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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