So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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