so explain again why im purple
no
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
