Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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