What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
