Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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