Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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