i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize