It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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