I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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