Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
