Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
