Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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