I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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