Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
