i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
