I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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