K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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