There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
