Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
