5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
