dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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