real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
