i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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