We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
