M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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