He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
