Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
sex in a hospital.. check
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
