Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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