apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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