apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize