dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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