that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
