Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
