I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you inspire me to be a worse person
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
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