It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
