He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
