I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
