when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
