I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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