I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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