Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
