you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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